mira, chapter III

a short story in 3 parts: the conclusion

The first two parts, mira, chapter I, and mira, chapter II, are required reading to understand what’s going on here.

TRIGGER WARNING: this story includes some very dark themes including suicide, violence and a couple of other things. Reader discretion is advised, if you’re not comfortable with that sort of thing, probably avoid this one. This is by far the darkest chapter of the three.

I crashed back into the party at breakneck speed, shellshocked and blinking rapidly. My heart was hammering, and my breathing was heavy. I scanned the room rapidly, looking for Mira, eventually finding her standing alone, looking over at Holden, who was talking to a different group of his pathetic sycophants. That insufferable, self-obsessed…no, he wasn’t what was important right now.

I stormed over to her and tugged at her shoulder impatiently, turning her to face me before declaring angrily:

“You don’t love me anymore, do you?! Not even that – you never did! That’s been it this whole time – you only loved the idea of the broken man that you could fix, that you could nurse back to life and care for, but as soon as I got better, you lost any interest in me whatsoever! Why would you do this to me, Mira? You should’ve just let me jump off that goddamn bridge!”

As soon as the words had left my mouth, I immediately knew I’d gone too far. Mira’s pale face suddenly turned as red as the sun right before it sets; she took a deep breath, then smacked me across the face again, way harder this time than earlier, and screaming:

“Fuck you, Jack! How dare you! I loved you for all this time when nobody cared about you! I spent all this time on your useless, stupid life! I saved you, and this is how you thank me?! You ungrateful, pretentious asshole! Out! Get out of this place right this second! I never want to see your dumb face, or your hideous doodles ever again! I hate you!”

“Fine!” – I said, turning and storming out.

The night air was like a second slap to my face, the sensitive skin stinging sharply as the cold attacked. I stopped to catch my breath, my rage and hurt slowly beginning to cool down and simmer over the newly unmoving corpse of my relationship with Mira. I just stood there, panting, hands on my knees, looking down at the cracked, uncaring pavement. So that was that – it was over. None of it had been real. Mira never cared.

Shaking my head, I stood up. Tears started to silently roll down my cheeks, leaving traces that burned in the cold, and on the skin of the cheek which Mira had slapped. I tucked my hands in my pockets and set off slowly, shakily down the street. Thank God this was the good part of town, otherwise I’d have probably been kidnapped, mugged or killed by now. Although, at this point, that may have been for the best, I thought.

But I didn’t make it even halfway back to my apartment building before my phone rang. My breath hitched, my chest tightened, as I thought about what I was about to see, before finally reaching into my pocket and pulling out my phone, only to see those all too familiar four letters at the top of the screen.

“What do you want, Mira?” – I asked, my voice exasperated and still not very steady, – “Did you not say enough back there?”

My traitorous heart panged sharply when she spoke next, the tone in her voice pleading and vulnerable, almost as though she had been crying:

“Jack, please come back. I’m sorry. I was so rude to you, and I didn’t mean any of it. You know I love you, right? Jack, please…come back.”

I stood for a few seconds, while the internal battle within me raged furiously. I couldn’t come back, right? Not after what had just happened between us. But then again, my heart shattered every time I heard what I thought was a little sob tear from her throat. I sighed and shook my head, cursing how much I still cared for her, gritted my teeth, and said:

“Okay, Mira, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you, Jack. I’m sorry” – she said, before hanging up suddenly. I guess two apologies in a row must’ve been too much for her to handle.

I set my jaw and set off back towards the party. I walked quickly down the empty streets, trying not to slip on the parts that had gotten a bit frosty; dormant shop windows and quiet entrances to apartment buildings went past me on either side; every once in a while, a car would make its way languidly down the road.

Finally, I made it back to the building where the party was taking place, impatient to hopefully talk things out with Mira. Rushing upstairs, I walked in, breathing heavily and sweating, drawing weird looks from every direction. However, one pair of eyes that wasn’t on me was Mira’s. I looked around for her everywhere, but I couldn’t see her. Where had she gone? What was going on? Wait. Someone else wasn’t there. My heart started to accelerate. Approaching one of the guys I’d talked to earlier, I asked him:

“Where’s Holden?”

“Oh, he’s in his bedroom fucking some girl. He’ll be back in a bit” – he replied indifferently.

My heart sank through the floor far enough to have burst out the other side of the planet. I bolted for the closed door, flinging it open and bursting into the room.

My eyes shot around the bedroom, with weird abstract paintings and posters with Chamberlain’s stupid smug face on them on the walls, a bunch of expensive jewelry thrown around the room, a couple of empty bottles of alcohol, and finally, the large bed. And in that bed, I saw Holden Chamberlain, and next to him…

“MIRA!” – I screamed, paralyzed with shock and betrayal in the doorway, – “What is this?!”

Mira looked up, her eyes widened as far as they would go, and she let out a shrill scream.

“Ah! Jack! What are you doing here?!”

“No, what are you doing here?!” – I said, waving my arms at Chamberlain.

“She’s experiencing what it’s like to be with a real man” – he said, grinning smugly – “how about you get out of here and go live the rest of your loser life, hm? Leave me and this girl alone, since she’s not yours anymore. Or, if you want, you can take the chair over there and watch and learn,” – he added with an insufferable smirk, – “Come on, I’ll show you how it’s done, since you clearly didn’t satisfy her. I’m not shy, and clearly this little slut isn’t either.”

Despite the rage burning in my chest, before I had the chance to say anything, Mira slapped him, sitting up and holding the sheets over her chest.

“Holden, don’t you dare call me that again! I am not a slut! And what are you even saying about teaching him anything – you’re terrible in bed!”

“Oh shut your mouth!” – he snapped angrily; clearly she’d struck a nerve, – “You were here begging me for it, you loved every second. You should consider yourself lucky! You’re a 6 at best, I could have a hundred girls hotter than you in bed at the snap of my fingers!”

“Great! Then I’m leaving. Delete my phone number and never talk to me again!” – she said, reaching for her dress and starting to hurriedly put it back on again.

“Excuse me!” – I said, clearing my throat – “I’m still here, you know. Mira, how could you do this to me?”

“Jack…I’m so sorry” – she said, tears welling up in her eyes as she got out of the bed – “when I told you to leave, I didn’t actually expect you to do it. And when you did, I got so angry, and I wanted to do something to spite you…but as soon as it happened, I realized I was making a terrible mistake. I’m so sorry, Jack…please, please. Don’t leave again. I don’t want to spend another second with him,” – she said, pointing at Holden, who was also re-dressing, – “You’re better than him in every way – especially in bed. He’s so insecure…”

“I said shut your mouth, you dumb bitch!” – Chamberlain barked, standing up sharply. Time seemed to move in slow motion as he, fury in his hollow eyes, jaw clenched, raised his arm and delivered a powerful backhanded strike across Mira’s face. As he made contact, time crashed back into its real speed; she crumpled to the floor with a scream of pain, and I saw red. I was furious with Mira, I hated her for cheating on me – but I also still loved her. And this pig wasn’t going to dare touch her without facing consequences.

I lunged at him, delivering a punch to the side of his face. His head snapped to the side briefly, before turning back to me, sneering:

“Oh, look at our white knight here! She’s past you, asshole, don’t bother defending her. Be a good boy and get out of my way before I kill you. She’s mine, and she’s going to learn to respect me.”

“Over my dead body” – I growled, before punching him again.

“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you” – he hissed through gritted teeth, before delivering a punch of his own. Sharp pain burst like lightning through my face as his fist hit my cheek. I returned it once again, and a fight broke out.

Mira lifted herself shakily from the floor, still disoriented from the impact of Chamberlain’s strike. She looked over and saw us fighting, where I was starting to run out of strength. I was still throwing punches, but they were becoming more and more erratic and uncoordinated; his punches, on the other hand, were impacting me more and more. My legs were beginning to wobble more and more every time I straightened up from another blow and attempted to retaliate, and my vision was starting to blur.

She let out a horrified shriek as she saw what was going on.

“Holden, NO!” – she screamed, rushing up to where Chamberlain had knocked me to the floor and had left me desperately trying to block his punches, – “Leave him alone! Just let him leave, please!”

Mira tried to grab his arm, but he swatted her away like an annoying insect; she tried again, and this time, he flung her away, and she was left, winded, to watch on in horror as my resistance finally gave in.

I just lay there, as he beat me, again and again, relentlessly, eyes clouded over with blind rage. I could feel my teeth being knocked out, my jaw cracking; the taste of blood filling my mouth was making my head spin.

“Jack, oh my God, Jack!!” – Mira cried out weakly from across the room. The loud music outside at the party continued to blare, drowning out any noise coming from the bedroom. With the color fading from my face, and the light from my eyes, I looked over at Mira, as the raging maniac above me continued his merciless attacks. I could hear her sobbing; I could sense, even as my consciousness was starting to betray me, that she was torn apart with guilt, feeling responsible for what was happening to me.

“Mira…run…get help…” – I croaked out, spitting out blood, as Chamberlain continued to rain blows down on me.

“I can’t leave you here alone with him!!” - she replied, trying again to force him off of me and only ending up flung even harder across the room. Oh, now she wanted to be next to me all of a sudden! I should have been mad at her, but, in my current situation, I didn’t have the strength. I was barely even able to form thoughts. I could just about make out that look of utter, hopeless surrender that I had seen in her eyes earlier start to creep back in; a terrible feeling began to form in the pit of my stomach as I sensed her mind racing through the darkest of ideas. The only thing still in my mind stumbled out of my lips:

“I…I love you…Mira” - I managed weakly.

“I love you too, Jack! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” – she cried out, sobbing even harder. Then, suddenly, as if receiving a sudden additional helping of strength, she jumped to her feet, crying in heaving bursts, and ran, but not towards us.

Time slowed down to the point where it was almost at a halt. I was almost too numb to feel the punches anymore, so I just watched on in growing terror as I watched Mira reach the bedroom window. My suspicions were seeming truer by the second. She threw it open and turned back towards us, and cried out:

“Holden, let him go this instant, or I’ll jump! Without him I have nothing to lose!”

“Sure you will! Jump then!” – he barked, not letting up even for a second. He clearly didn’t believe her in the slightest. But I knew she wasn’t lying - I could hear the desperation in her voice, sense the determination. It seemed like, whatever darkness had been brewing within her, hidden away from me carefully, had grown to a point of no return.

“No!” – I croaked, trying to reach out my arm towards her, – “Mira, don’t do it, please!”

But Mira just shook her head. She pulled herself up, and, in agonizing slow motion, jumped. The remaining edges of my vision that hadn’t gone black yet just about allowed me to see her fragile body disappear from view; and what was left of my hearing was quickly assured of the absence of any miracles by the dull thud that rang out throughout the silent, empty street some seconds later.

The noise seemed to abruptly clear the fog of rage from Chamberlain. He bolted upright, hurriedly wiping my blood from his hands, and dashed to the window.

“Goddammit, the bitch actually jumped! Someone’s going to call the cops!” – he exclaimed, before darting out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I was left alone, bleeding heavily, utterly robbed of any strength, without feeling in my limbs or my midsection from where Chamberlain had been pinning me down. I tried to scream for someone from the party to come help me, but my voice came out as a nearly silent croak. But, above all else, the most devastating pain was in my soul. I had just seen the love of my life launch herself from a top-floor window. Mira was gone. I felt tears start to run down my deformed, bloodied face, stinging bitterly. I couldn’t believe I’d really lost her. Dammit, even after everything she’d done to me, I still loved her. Even as I lay dying, I was thinking about Mira, and not myself.

At least now I was about to be reunited with her, I thought, as the last light faded from my eyes. I guess that was the story of my life – a life saved and ended by the same love.

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Hi everyone! I’m very scared of publishing this because it’s a great deal darker than any of my other work, and I’m not sure what the reception will be like. I hope you’ve enjoyed this story - I’m scheduling the whole thing at once, so I don’t know how people have reacted to the first two chapters yet. This story has been in the works for almost an entire year, and I forgot about it for a while, but I came across it recently and decided to finish it.

Something much more important: if you’re feeling down, please talk to someone. If you don’t have anyone in your life you trust to talk to about mental health struggles, please use your local suicide prevention hotline or other similar services. It’s never not okay to not be okay. There’s people out there who care about you and want to help, and your life is worth more than anything. If anyone reading this ever wants someone to talk to, about life or anything at all, positive or negative, please feel free to reach out. I love you all.